To Get or not to Get: Remarriage after Civil Marriage
A Jewish woman who wishes to marry, but was previously married to a Jewish man, requires a get (a bill of divorce) from her former husband. What if her first marriage was only a civil one—does she still need a get?
The Definition of Marriage
Civil marriages and other formalized relationships do not constitute a kosher marriage, which requires kiddushin (halachic betrothal) in the presence of two kosher witnesses. Nevertheless, poskim put forth many reasons to be stringent regarding the necessity of a get for dissolution of even a non-kosher marriage—whether a ceremonial or non-officiated union.
The Tzemach Tzedek examines the question of whether a woman who is meyuchad (in an exclusive relationship) with a man might be comparable to a (now obsolete) pilegesh (a half-wife i.e., a marriage not for the purpose of having children), which according to many opinions required a get even though no kiddushin took place.
There is another argument put forth that although the civil marriage was not a “Jewish” one, the Torah ascribes other forms of marriage to bnei Noach (Noahides, i.e., non-Jews who adhere to the Seven Universal Mitzvos). If Jews are married in this manner, a get or some other official form of dissolution of the marriage may be required.
Alternatively, the civil marriage in itself can be considered a shtar (contract) that constitutes kiddushin.
Non-Ceremonial Matrimony
There is a halachic concept that “Chazakah ein adam oseh be’ilaso be’ilas zenus” (it is assumed that a person would not want to enter into a forbidden relationship); a Jewish man and Jewish woman in a relationship would seemingly desire not to violate halachah (or live immorally). Even if they are unaware of the requirement of kiddushin or the necessity of it, their relationship (or the very fact that they live together) may be considered an implicit choice to be “married”. Since it is public knowledge that they live together, this awareness may constitute “witnesses”, resulting in the need for a get.
The Uncomplicated Divorce
Some poskim who reject all the above arguments nevertheless maintain that a get is required in order to create a s’yag (lit., fence—a safeguard) against Jewish marriages ending without a get. They take into consideration the potentially negative impact on legal Jewish divorce were it to become commonplace for civilly married women to have their unions end sans get.
Some authorities argue against this practice so as not to, chas v'shalom, appear to give legitimacy to non-kosher unions. Nevertheless, the consensus among poskim is that even if a get is not required for the dissolution of a civil marriage according to the letter of halachah, it must nevertheless be acquired, if only as a chumrah (stringency).
When it is not possible to obtain a get to dissolve a previous civil marriage, a rav should be consulted, since the circumstances of each individual case greatly impact the halachic ruling.