Listening to Lashon Hara
It is forbidden to be mekabel lashon hara (accept as a fact negative information about another), or even to listen to it.
We may listen to lashon hara if we believe that doing so will give us the opportunity to be melamed zechus (offer a defense) for the one being maligned, prove the lashon hara wrong, or even allow the person relaying the lashon hara to vent their anger, calm down, and perhaps be dissuaded from repeating it again. Of course, none of this would ever justify accepting the lashon hara as true.
Otherwise, if someone attempts to share lashon hara with us, we should immediately ask them how anyone would derive toeles (gain) from hearing this information. If there is a toeles (e.g. it concerns potential harm we may need to protect ourselves from), we may listen without accepting what we’re being told as fact, merely as something to be potentially concerned about. If there is no obvious toeles, we may not even listen. #471
בהאיסור לשמוע לשון הרע - האריך בח״ח הל׳ לשה״ר כלל ו ס״ב ואילך, ובבאמ״ח לשם סק״ב. ויש להוסיף מקרא מלא במשלי יז, ד.
ובנדו״ד - ראה ספר חסידים סס״ד. וצע״ק שלא הביאו שם בבאמ״ח לס״ד.