Guidelines for the Graphologist
A graphologist “reads” a person’s personality through analyzing their handwriting. Submitting a writing sample to a graphologist without the writer’s permission—perhaps for shidduch or employment purposes—is considered geneivah (stealing). Even if the sample was obtained in an above-board manner, may the graphologist, who is now privy to private information about the writer, share it with others?
Mishlei warns us, “Holech rochil megaleh sod” (A talebearer is one who reveals secrets), which is a directive against sharing confidences. In addition, there is an express restriction of bal yomar (do not tell), which applies even if the one privy to certain information was not asked to keep the information confidential, and even in cases where the findings are neutral—and not negative. This restriction may apply to both the one submitting another’s handwriting sample to the graphologist, as well as to the graphologist.
However, there is a dispensation for sharing serious negative findings in case it is lashon hara l’toeles (slanderous talk for a purpose, i.e. to safeguard another). If the concept of toeles applies to lashon hara, which is damaging to the one being slandered, it most certainly includes a dispensation for bal yomar with toeles, and allows sharing confidential information that is inoffensive—for the purpose of helping a potential mate or employer.
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