#140 Spousal Obligations
In a marriage there are obligations by a husband to his wife and by a wife to her husband. Some of these obligations are contractual obligations listed in the kesubah, marriage contract. For example, it is the husband’s responsibility to provide for his wife she’eira (food), ksusa (clothing), and onasa (conjugal rights). In addition to these three basic rights, the husband is obligated to provide her with a home, pay her medical bills, give her attention such as eating together on Friday nights, and many other such obligations. The husband is supposed to love his wife as he loves himself, and to honor her even more than he respects and honors himself; if he is wealthy, he is obligated to provide her with a living standard in accordance with his means. In return for her husband’s responsibility to attend to her physical and emotional needs, it is the wife’s responsibility to give the money she earns to her husband, as well as to maintain the home. She is required to look up to her husband and treat him with respect and dignity, as one would treat a king. There are many other such halachos listed in Shulchon Aruch and poskim. In case there is a disagreement between the husband and wife whether these obligations have been fulfilled, a person may not take the liberty to stop fulfilling their spousal obligations in retaliation, but they should discuss the situation with a rov in order to resolve the issues in an amicable manner.