I’m invited out; where do I light Shabbos candles?
The purpose of lighting Shabbos candles is to bring light into our home, shelo yikashel b’etz ub’even (to prevent tripping on a log or a stone [because of the dark], causing discord in the home). Before the advent of electricity, the lighting of candles actually fulfilled this in a tangible way, but electricity has since filled that need. Nevertheless, there is a concept of tosefes ohr (adding light) which enhances our meal, whereby we still fulfill the mitzvah.
Say a woman or a girl is invited out for the Friday night seudah (meal). Should she light Shabbos candles at her host’s home, where she will eat the meal—or at home, where she will return to sleep?
At times the decision is made based on personal welfare or practical considerations, if lighting at home is a fire hazard, or making a special trip to the host before candle-lighting time is inexpedient. But what does halachah say?
A long time ago it would have been preferable to kindle at home, where the woman fulfills her obligation and performs the mitzvah optimally by providing light to her own otherwise dark house. Lighting at the host—who is kindling her own lights—would be redundant. However, in the modern era of electrical lighting, candle lighting no longer serves this function, and we rely on the tosefes ohr criterion to fulfill the mitzvah. Therefore, she should light candles at the host, so tosefes ohr is enjoyed at the dining table.
Here are eitzos (solutions) for someone who nonetheless wants to light at home before leaving for the seudah:
• A Shabbos timer can turn the lights on at home after kindling the Shabbos candles, so the woman (and her family) benefit briefly from the candles without electricity once it’s dark.
• A Shabbos timer can turn the lights off before the candles burn out, using long-lasting candles—in a non-hazardous way—that will still illuminate the dark upon return. In this way, the candles actually provide light that she will enjoy.
• When she returns home, she can partake of a small snack near the candles, and derive the benefit of tosefes ohr.
• She can light both at home and at the host—reciting the brachah at the host’s dining table, where there is the advantage of tosefes ohr. #616
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