Negiyah between Relatives
Despite a common misconception, there are strict halachic guidelines regarding touching, hugging, and kissing relatives of the opposite gender. In fact, these halachos are often more stringent because libo gas ba, there is a higher degree of familiarity among family members. Of course, different halachos pertain to spouses, parents and children, grandparents and grandchildren. However, an uncle may not touch in a loving, friendly manner, hug, or kiss his niece once she turns three. The same applies to an aunt and her nephew, as well as male and female cousins, once the nephew or male cousin is nine years old. The Shulchon Aruch cites that some people think that it is acceptable for a brother to hug and kiss his sister. As long as the child is young, it is permissible, but not once they become older. Although inappropriate feelings of attraction do not exist between siblings, it is a “dvar issur, megunah b’yoser”, and “maaseh tipshim”, forbidden, very inappropriate, and foolish behavior. It is important to find another way to convey love and caring to children as they become older if they have been accustomed to a close physical relationship with a relative of the opposite gender. A candy, gift, reading a story, or talking with them will often do much more than a kiss—and in a halachically acceptable manner.
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