373. Visiting Kivrei Tzadikim (Graves of Saintly People)
There is an apparent contradiction in the Kisvei HaArizal (writings of the Arizal) regarding whether one should visit kivrei tzadikim or not.
In one place, he writes that it is not recommended to go to cemeteries, and one should go only to a levayah (funeral)—which is a mitzvah. The reason he gives for not going to cemeteries is that the chitzonim (negative forces) that are there might latch on to the visitor. The Magen Avraham quotes this in hilchos Tishah B’Av.
In a different place, the Arizal writes that going to kivrei tzadikim is a very positive and holy deed, and that it is auspicious to daven there. The Arizal was heavily involved in identifying many unknown kevarim of earlier tzadikim, and visiting kivrei tzadikim is integral to his teachings. Indeed, the significance of davening at kivrei tzadikim is found in many places in Chazal.
One of the ways to resolve this apparent contradiction is as follows: If one is meharher b’teshuvah (repents in their heart) in order to purify themselves, and if they go to the mikvah before going to kivrei tzadikim, then it is very constructive and a source of abundant blessings. However, if one is not spiritually prepared, they should not go. The Zohar mentions that one should fast before going to kivrei tzadikim; many are accustomed to doing so before visiting any kever.
However, the common custom is not to fast entirely; on the contrary, one should be sure to drink so that it should not be considered a complete fast. This is because it is the custom of non-Jews to fast before they visit their graves, and fasting could be a violation of v’doresh el hameisim (attempting to communicate with the dead). It is also important to give tzedakah when visiting a kever, and some also have the minhag (custom) of circling the kever or the beis hachayim (cemetery) one or more times as part of their tefillos (prayers).