516. Is chinuch the mitzvah of the father or the mother?
There are some mitzvos that involve women, often in crucial roles, although they aren’t obligated to perform them. One example is peru urvu (the mitzvah of bringing children into the world), which is the obligation of the husband, yet the wife is clearly the key person in implementing it, and she gets a special schar (reward) for being mesayeia (assisting) and enabling her husband to fulfill the mitzvah.
Similarly, the mitzvah of chinuch (Torah-based education) is incumbent upon the father, yet it’s indisputable that the ikar (primary) chinuch is accomplished by the mother who is the akeres habayis (mainstay of the home). This phenomenon is confirmed by the Shaloh who states that she carries the main responsibility for instilling yiras shamayim (fear of Heaven) into her children.
One chassidic explanation for the seeming discrepancy between who the mitzvos are addressed to and what happens in reality, is that the woman’s role in the family is a given; she inherently understands the importance of bearing children and having a large family, and she also possesses an innate sensitivity and the skills needed to educate her children. Thus, there is no need to explicitly command her to do so.
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