Halacha2goThe one minute halacha

 #524^?: A woman or girl has made a neder and is not comfortable with the idea of approaching a beis din for hataras nedarim; what options does she have to be released of her commitment? 

If a married woman makes a neder (vow) placing a restriction upon herself, or she commits to a minhag tov (good practice)—which is tantamount to making a neder—the halachah is that her husband can resort to hafaras nedarim (voiding her vows) by saying “Mufar lichi” (or something similar) three times. However, hafaras nedarim only works for vows involving devarim shebeino lebeinah (interpersonal matters affecting him) or inui nefesh (afflicting herself), and only if he had not previously approved of her neder. Moreover, it must take place b’yom sham’o (before sunset of the day that he hears about it).

When hafaras nedarim isn’t an option—because one or more of the above requirements haven’t been met—there are other means to cancel her neder. She can appear before a beis din (Rabbinical court) of three, who will do hataras nedarim (annulment of vows retroactively as if it never existed) for her; in fact, her husband can represent her as her shaliach (agent) since ishto k’gufo (a couple is regarded as a single entity). However, the husband may only appear before the beis din once they’ve assembled, but he may not take part in assembling the beis din. He also can’t be one of the dayanim (judges), since ishto k’gufo, and one may not be matir neder for oneself. In case he already approved of her neder, a Rav should be consulted about how to proceed with hataras nedarim through a beis din. 

The father of a girl under the age of twelve and a half also has the power to void his daughter’s nedarim. If he wishes to permit her neder through hataras nedarim, he can’t be her shaliach. However, he, along with her brothers or other male relatives, may form the beis din of three to be matir her neder, since kerovim (relatives) are permitted to be matir nedarim. A single girl over the age of twelve and a half can only resort to a beis din of three, which may include relatives, to annul her nedarim.