“Of course I’m Jewish—my grandmother spoke Yiddish!”
Before pursuing a shidduch we should ascertain that the candidate is actually Jewish, is halachically considered single, and is not one of the pesulei chittun (those whom we are forbidden to marry according to Torah). It is common practice for the mesader kiddushin (officiating Rabbi) to research the viability of the marriage through birur yahudus (verifying Jewish matrilineage) and birur yuchasin (verifying suitability based on the family’s marriage history) before allowing a couple to wed with chuppah v’kiddushin (the Jewish marriage ceremony).
In determining Jewishness, most Rishonim state that it is sufficient for the person themselves to testify that they are Jewish. This is because there is a chazakah (halachic assumption) that no one would claim to be Jewish if they're not, or, alternatively, due to the principle of rov (majority)—most such claims were proven to be accurate. In addition, “Milsah d’avida l’igluyei lo meshakrei bah inshei” (no one would dare lie about a matter that is bound to come to light).
Nonetheless, since kosher marriage is such a major tenet of Jewish existence, we should attempt to follow the more stringent authorities who insist on verifying these claims. Even poskim who are more lenient in this matter say, “Kol heicha d’efshar livrurei mevararinan” (wherever possible, ascertain the facts).
Many poskim argue that the statements by Rishonim concerning rov and chazakah are only valid if the individual claiming to be Jewish associates with the Jewish community, retains Jewish traditions or speaks Yiddish (or Ladino). However, in current times, this is not prevalent. The assumptions of trusting an individual’s claims based on rov or chazakah are also challenged, as there are many benefits to being considered Jewish with regard to Aliyah, marrying a Jew, as well as unprecedented cultural acceptance in Western society. Adherence to true Yiddishkeit (Judaism) has declined to the point that we also cannot claim a rov of “verified” Jews, since many of mixed ancestry (who may have been considered Jewish by the outside world) are not halachically Jewish.
Additionally, we recently suffered the horrific losses of the Holocaust, religious oppression under the Communism and a tragically accelerating rate of intermarriage. For the descendants of survivors—whether they are simply misinformed or attempting subterfuge with regard to matrilineage—we cannot prove that any of them are making false claims nor expect the facts “to come to light.”
Even in the olden days, there were particular kehillos (communities) where, due to circumstance, takanos (ratifications) were enacted that those who wanted to join the community must bring evidence of their ancestry.
ืื ืฉืืฆืืืจ ืฉืืื ืืืืื, ื ืืื?
ืืืืจ ืื"ืข ืก"ื ืืืื ืฉื' ืจืฉ"ื (ืืชืืืืช ืื, ื ืืื, ื) ืืืจื"ื ืฉืืืฉ ืฉืื ืืืฉื ืืฉื (ืืืฉ"ื ืืฉื ืฉืืื ืืืื ืฉื - ืจืื ืคืจืืฉื ืฉื ืกืง"ื) ืฆ' ืืืืืง ืืืจืื ืงืืื ืฉืืฉืืืื, ืฉืื ืฉืืื ืืฉืคืืชื ืืืืขื ืฆ' ืจืื' ืืืืืกืื, ืืืื ืข"ื ื ืืื. ืืืืฉืืขืืดื ืฉื ืืคืืืดืง ืกืดื ืฉืืดื ืื ืืืจืืณ ืงืืืฉืื ืคืดื ืืดื. ืืืดื ืื ืืจืืณ ืจืคืดื ืืจืดื - ืืืื ืืืืฉืดืก ืืืืืช ืื, ื. ืืจืื ืฉืืดืช ืืืืดื ืืดื ืืืดืข ืกืดื. (ืืืืดืค, ืขืดืค ืืฉื ืดืช ืืงืื ืืืื ืืืคื ืื ืฉืืื ื ื ืืื).
ืืืืขืช ืืจืืืดื ืืกืืดื ืคืืดื ืืดื (ืืืืื ืื ืืฉืืดืข ืืืดื ืกืจืกืดื ืกืดื) ืฉืืืืดื ืฆืณ ืืืืื ืจืืืณ ืืืืดื ืืฉื ืืฉืจืืืืช ืืคื ืฉืืขืื ืขืฉื ืืืืืกืื - ืืชื ืืืดื ืฉื ืคืดื ืืดื (ืืฉืื ืืื ืงืื) ืฉืืดืฉ ืืืงืช ืืฉืจืืช ืืดื ืืฉืืฉ ืืืงืช ืืฉืคืื. (ืืืดื ืืจืืืดื ืืจืฉืืดื ืืชืืืืช ืื, ื ืืืขืช ืืจืืืดื. ืืฉืืดื ืืฉืื ืืื ืืชืจื ืืืดื ืฉื - ืจืง ืืืืื ื ืฆืณ ืจืืืณ, ืืฉืื ื ืื ืฉืืืจ ื ืชืืืืจืชื ืืื ืฉืืืจ ืืฉืจืื ืื ื. ืืืดื ืืืดื ืืืืื ืืฉืดื ืืืดื ืฉื ืกืงืืดื. ืืืื ืืฉืืดืช ืืจืืืดื ืืืื ืืดื ืกืชืขืดื ืฉื ืืื ืืคืืณ ืืฉืื ืืืงืื ืฉืจืืื ืืืื. ืืขืืฆืดื ืืืืืง ืืื ืื ืืื ืฉืืืืจ ื ืชืืืืจืชื).
ืืื"ืฉ (ืืืดืข ืฉื ืกืง"ื. ืก"ื ืกืง"ื. ืฉื ืกืง"ื) ืก"ื ืืืขืช ืืืืืจ ืืืจื"ื ืืืขืช ืจืฉืดื (ืืขืื), ืืฉืื ืืฉ ืืืืืืจ. ืืืืื ืืืืื ืืืื"ื ืก"ื ืกืง"ื, ืืฉื"ื ืืื"ื ืืืดืข ืกืดื ืกืดื, ืืฉื"ื ืืฉื"ืช ืืืจื"ื ื"ื ืกืงื"ื. ืื"ืค ืืืื"ื ืืื ืงืื ืก"ื. (ืืื ืืฉืื ื ืืืจื ืืืื ืจืง ืืืืช ืชืงื ื, ืืืงืื). ืืืฉืืดืช ืืชืดืก ืฉื ืืคืก ืืกืืฃ ืืืณ ืขื ืืชืืืืช ืืดื ืืืดื (ืื ืืฆื ืืงืืืฅ ืชืฉืืืืช ืืืดืข ืกืืณ ืก) ื' ื"ื ืฉืืขืืงืจ ืืืจืืืดื ืืจืืืดื ืืจืฉืืดื ืืจืดื ืืืืจืืดื, ืืฉืืดื ืฉืืณ ืจืฉืดื. ืืืืืจื ืืชื ืืขื ืื ืืืงืช ืืืื ื. ืืื ืืฉืืดืช ืฉืืืดื ืืดื ืกืจืกืดื ืืืณ ืฉืืื ืื ืืขื ืื ืืืืก.
ืืืขืจืื"ืฉ ืฉื ืกื"ื ืืืขืช ืจืฉืดื ืืืจืืืดื ืฉืืืงืช ืืฉืจืืช ืืืื ื ืจืง ืืืฉืคืื, ืืื ืืืืฉ ืฉืืดื ืื ื ืคืฉืืื ืฉืืืื ื ืืฉ ืืืืืจ. [ืืขื"ื ืืื ืืืจ ืื"ื ืฉื ืืืคืจืืฉื ืก"ื ืกืง"ื. ืื"ื ืืฉืืดืช ืืชืดืก ืื "ื, ืืืดื ืืื' ืืช"ืก ืืชืืืืช ืื, ื ื"ื ืืืฉืืื. ืืฉื ืฉืจืืื ืืืืชื ืงืื (ืืคืจืืฉ ืืจืื ืืืื) ืขืืืฃ ืืจืืื ืืืืชื ืงืื (ืฉืจืื ืืืืื ืืชืืจืช ืืืืืช ืื ืืฉืจืื, ืืืืงืื). ืืื ืจืื ืฉืืดืช ืืชืดืก ืืืดืข ืก"ื ืืดื ืื"ืฉ].
ืืื ื, ืืฉ"ื ืื"ื ืกืจืก"ื ืฉื ืืืื ืื ืืืงื (ืืืขืช ืืจืืฉืื ืื ืืืงืื). ืืจืื ืื ืืคืช"ืฉ ืื"ืข (ืก"ื ืกืง"ื. ืก"ื ืกืง"ื), ืืืืื ืืืณ ืฉืขืืดื ืืกืืดื ืคืดื ืฉืืฉืื ืขื ืื"ืฉ ืืืขืช ืืืืืจ. ืืจืื ืื"ื ืฉื ืกืง"ื ืืืื ืืืืช ืขื ืื ืืื ื ืฉืืื ืืืืงืื. ืืฉื ืฉืืืืื ืืืขืืืช ืขื ืืืขืช ืฉืืืืืจ ืืืจืืข ื ืื ืืื ืื. ืืืฉื"ืช ืืืืฃ ืื ืฉืืื ืกื"ื, ืฉืืื ืื ืืืืงืืืื. ืืืืืฃ ืืื ืื - ืืืจ ืืณ ืืจืืฉืื ืื ืฉืืขืฉืื ืื"ื ืื (ืจืื ืจืืืืดื ืืืืืช ืื, ื. ืืืณ ืืจืืืดื ืืชืืืืช ืื, ื. ืืืขื ืื ื ืืฉืืืื - ืืื' ืืจ"ื (ืืชืืืืช ื, ื - ืืืคื ืืจืืดืฃ) ืฉืืขืฉืื ืืืดื ืฉืืฉืืืื ืืฉื ืืืดื ืื ืืฉืืื ืืืืจืื ืืืชื, ืืืืืืงืื ืืืชื ืืืืงืช ืืฉืจื). ืืจืื ืื ืกืื ืืืืฆื"ืค ืก"ื ืกืง"ื ืืืช ื.
[ืืื"ื: ืืื"ืข ืฉืืชืื ืขืืื ืื ื"ื ืืฉื"ืข, ื ' ืงืฆืช ืฉืืื"ื (ืืกืจืก"ื - ืืื' ืืืจืืช) ืืชืื ืื"ื ืืงืืื, ืืฉื"ื ืืื"ืข (ืก"ื – ืืืื ื ืืืืกืื) ืืืื ืืชืจ ืืืคืื, ืืืืืจื].
ืื"ื, ืื"ื ืชืืงื ื ืชืงื ืืช ืื"ื - ืจืื ืืื"ื ืฉื ืข"ื ืชืงื ืช ืืืื ืืช ืืืื. ืืืกืณ ืืืืฉื ืืืฉืื (ืข' ืขืจื) - ืงื"ืง ืืืืื ืช ืืืจ. ืืขื"ื ืื"ื.
ืืื ื, ืืืขืช ืืืงืืืื ืฉื ืืื ืื ืืืื ืืืืกืื, ืืื ืืืคื ืื: ืืชืืกืณ ืืืืืช ืื, ื ืืดื ืืืืืืง, ืืฉืื ืจืื. ืืืดื ืืจื"ืฉ ืืืืืช ืคืดื ืกืืดื. (ืืื ืจืื ืชืืืดื ืืื ื - ืคืกืืื ื, ื. ืืื"ื). ืืืจืืืืดื ืืืืืช ืฉื ืื ืืืืงืดื (ืฉื ืื, ื - ืืืคื ืืจืืดืฃ), ืืฉืื ืืืืชื ืืขืืืื ืืืืืื. ืืืดื ืืงืจืดื ืืืขืช ืืชืืกืณ ืืืืืช ืื, ื. ืืืคืดื, ืืฉืืื ืฉืืืจืืช ืืฆืืืืืช ืืื ื ื ืืื – ืจืื ืฉืืดืช ืืืจืืดื ืกืงืืดื ืืืื ืจืง ืืืื ืืฉืืื ืฉืืืจืชื. ืืขืคืดื ืืดื ืื ืืืืื ืช ืื"ื ืืืืืจื ืฉืื ืืืจืฅ ืจืืืงื (ืืืฉืื ื) ืืืงื. ืืืฉ ืฉืคื' ืืืืดื ืืืขื ืืืงื, ืฉืืืงื ืฉืืื ืืื ืืขืื ืข"ืข ืฉืืื ืืฉืจืื ืืฉืืื ื. [ืื ืกืชืคืงื ืื ื ืืื ืื ืืืฉ ืื ืชืืขืืช ืืื].
ืืื, ืฉืืดื ืืฉืื ืงืจื ืขืื' ืขืจืขืจ, ืืื ืืืฉ ืขืจืขืืจ ืืื ื ื ืืื. ืืขืื, ืฉื"ื ืืืื ืืื ืืืืืง ืื ืืืื - ืจืื ืจืืืดื ืืชืืืืช ืื, ื. ืจืืืืดื ืฉื. ืืื ืขืืื ืื' ืืจืื"ื ืืกื"ื ืคื"ื ื"ื, ืืฉื"ืข ืื"ื ืกืจืก"ื ืก"ื. ืืจืื ืื ืืืดื ืืกืืดื ืคืืดื ืืดื, ืฉืืื ืจืง ืืฉืื ืืืณ ืืืืข ืืืืงืช ืืืืช. ืืจืื ืื ืฉื"ืช ืืืืขืืจ ื"ื ืกืืดื. ืฉื"ืช ืืืดื ืืืดืข ืก"ื.
ืืืชืจ ืขื ืื, ืืืืืจื ืืืืืช ืื, ื ืฉืืื ืืืงื ืืืืืืง ืืืฉืจืื. ืืืืื ืืืจืื ืื ืืชืื ืืดื ืืืืืจื ืืฉืืืจ ืชืืืดืฆ - ืจืื ืฉืืดืช ืืืจืืดื ืื ืดื. ืืจืืืดื ืืกืืดื ืคืืดื ืืดื. ืฉื"ืช ืจืขืงืดื ืืดื ืกืงื"ื. ืืจืื ืฉืืดืช ืงืจืืช ืื ื ืืื ืืดื ืืืดืข ืกืดื. ืืืชืคืืดื ืืชืืืืช ืคืดื ืืดื, ืฉืืืดื ื ืืื ืืคื ืฉืืืืื ืขืฆืื ืืืฆืืช. ืืจืื ืฉืืดืช ืืืื ืืฆืืง ืืดื ืกืืดื. ืืืฉืืดืช ืืื ืืืฉืืืฉ ืกืดื ืืื"ื, ืืจืง ืืืืืจ ืฉืคืช ืืืืืืื. ืืื ืจืื ืืืืดื ืืืดื ืกืงื ืดื ืกืงืดื. ืฉื ืืืื ืกืงืืดื ืกืงืดื.
ืืื, ืฉื"ื ืฉืืืื ืื ื ืฉืืฉ ืื"ื ืืืฉืจืื ืขืืดื ืจืืดื ืืืื ืจืืขืืชื ืืืื – ืจืื ืงืืืฅ ืชืฉืืืืช (ืืืจืืฉ"ื) ืืดื ืืืดืข ืกืงืืดื. ืื"ื ืืฉื"ืช ืืืดื ืืืดืข ืกืดื ืฉื ืืื ืืคืืณ ืืฉืืื ื ืฉืืืจ ืชืืืดืฆ. ืืื ื, ื"ื ืชืืื ืื ืื ืืืชื ืืชืื"ืฆ ืฉืืื ืจืง ืฉืื ืืื ืจืืขืืชื, ืื ืฉื"ื ืืืขืื ืืืกืืืข ืืืืฃ ืื ืืื ืืช, ืจืื ืืืื ืืื "ื.
ืื"ื, ืืืคืฉืจ ืืืจืืจื ืืืื ืืืจืจ, ืืืืงืืืืดื ืืืืชืดื. ืืืฃ ืฉืืฉ ืืืืง ืฉืืืืช ืืืืจืืจ ืืื ืจืง ืืืืื ืจืืขืืชื (ืจืื ืฉืืดืข ืืืืดื ืืืณ ืฉืืืื ืกืดื ืกืงืดื ืืกืงืืดื ืืืืืืืจื ืืืืืช ืืฉื), ืืจื ืื ืื ืื"ื ืืืื ืืืขืื ืืืฆืื. [ืื"ื, ื"ื ืืืืื ื ืจืง ืืฉืืฉ ืืืงืช ืืืกืืจ, ืืืืื' ืืืืง"ื, ืฉืืืืช ืืืืงืช ืฉืืื ื ืืืืง - ืจืื ืฉื"ืข ืืื"ื ืกืชืืดื ืกืดื. ืืื ืืืืืืงืช ืฆืืฆืืช ืฉืืจืื ืืืืืช ื ืคืกืง – ืจืื ืฉื"ืข ืืื"ื ืก"ื ืกื"ื. ืืืืืจ"ื ืฉื. ืืืื ื ืืกืฃ ืืื ืฉื"ื ืฉืืื ืจืง ืืืืจื ืืขืืื (ืขืื"ืฉ ืืงื"ื ืกืง"ื) ืืืื ืืฉืื ืืืืจ ืืจืื ืืืืื (ืื' ืืืืืจ ืฉื ืก"ื. ืื"ื ืื"ื ืฉื. ืืจืื ืืืืืช ืจืขืง"ื. ืืื ืจืื ืื"ื ืฉื ืืืืื"ืฉ ืฉื. ืคื"ื ืก"ื ืื"ื ืกืงื"ื. ืืืงื"ื ืฉื: ืืจืื ืืืืื ื(ื)ืืืืื ื"ืข), ืื ืืืช ืืกืืืืช (ืขืื"ืฉ ืื"ื). ืืื ืืืืืืืช ืืืืื ืื, ื ืืฃ ืฉื' ืฉื"ืฆ ืืืจืจ ืจืง ืืืฉ ืืืงื ืื ืืื, ืืดื ืกืดื ืฉืืืืขืื ืืืฆืื ืืืฉืฉืื ืืืชืืืื].
ืืืืจืื - ืืขืื ืขืฉื ืืืืืกืื. ืืื ืืฆืื ื ืืืืืณ ืืคืืื ืืชืืืืช ืื, ื. ืื"ื ืืฉืืดืช ืืืืืดื ืืืดื ืกืจืืดื. ืืชืดืก ืืืดืข ืกืืดื ืืืืื. ืงืจืืช ืื ื ืืื ืฉื. ืขืจืืืดืฉ ืืืดื ืกืจืกืดื ืกืดื. ืืืฉืดื ืืฉืืฉ ืขืจืขืืจ ืืจืืขืืชื.
ืืขืฆ"ืข ืฉืืจืืฉืื ืื ืืชืื ืืกืชืื ืฉื"ืฆ ืืืืงื ืืื. ืื"ื, ืืืืื ื ืจืง ืืืื"ืค. ืืืืืง. ืืื ืจืื ืฉืืดืช ืืืืดื ืืดื ืืืดืข ืกืดื. ืืฉื, ืฉืืืฉ ืจืืืื ืืืืจ ืฉืืื ื ืืฉืจืื, ืืืื ืืืจืจ. [ืืืช ืืขืื, ืื ืืืข ืืกืืจื ืืจืื ืืช – ืจืื ืงืืืฅ ืชืฉืืืืช (ืืืจืืฉ"ื) ื"ื ืกืฆ"ื].
ืืจืื ืืืจืืื ืืืื "ื, ืืื ืืืข ืืืืื ื ืืื, ืืื ืืงื ืืก' ืืืฉ ืืืืื (ืืจืื). ืืฆืจืฃ ืืืกืฃ (ืคืจืืืื). ืงืืืฅ ืืืจ ืืฆืืง ืข' ืกื. ืืืจืืืช ืืฉืคื ืืืฉืื ืกืงื ืข' ืฉื ื ืืืืื. ืืฉ"ื .